Behind Walls of Glass von abgemeldet (TomaPi) ================================================================================ Kapitel 14: Chapter 14 ---------------------- Chapter 14 Soundtrack: Rihanna – Unfaithful “Do... do me a favor and close your eyes, will you?”, said Tomohisa. Toma looked at him confused but nodded and closed his eyes. If his heart wouldn't had already pounded so fast it would have sped up now. He was nervous what would happen next, even afraid a bit. Then he felt a warm hand on his cheek and a second later, warm lips on his own. Toma's heart skipped a beat. It felt so good. But the fact that it was wrong was still in his mind and he didn't know how to react. After a few seconds Tomohisa parted. Maybe it was better he thought, but just then he felt them again. All feelings inside of him were messed up right now. Then Tomohisa parted again and spoke up: “Toma?” He sounded nervous and Toma couldn't say anything but: “Don't stop... onegai...” He knew that it sounded desperate. Even if he was about to go to hell because of it. It felt so good and he needed this touch so much right now. “Okay...”, Tomohisa whispered and kissed him again. This time it was not so cautiously. Toma grabbed deeper in Tomo's shirt and tried to enjoy the kiss. Tomohisa was so gentle and careful, he could feel him everywhere and it was what he had wanted so much. But he still couldn't stop shivering because of the guilt. His heart still ached because of what he had done... Tomohisa seemed to notice that something wasn't right. “Don't cry, Toma...”, he whispered and began to kiss his neck. Toma laid his head back as he felt those sweet kisses and it felt so damn good, so damn right. Then Tomohisa slowly laid him down on the ground and sat down on his thighs and looked at him. “If you want me to stop, then...” But he didn't want him to stop even though he knew he would regret it sooner or later. He just wanted too feel this at least for once. “No... no...”, he said hastily. “Then... just think about me right now, okay? There's nothing but you and me in this room and I won't let anything make you cry again tonight.”, Tomohisa said and looked at him. Those beautiful eyes just looked at him. How he had wished that they would only look at him...Toma had never felt like he had belonged to somewhere, but now, here, with him it felt as if he had a place in life which he belonged to and he wanted it to be true so much. “As if there was anything I could think about but you...”, admitted Toma and he knew it was true. All those years his heart had been with Tomohisa, even if he had not recognized it at that time. He got up and pulled Tomohisa closer and kissed him like he always had wanted to. Somewhen he felt that his head got dizzy and it got hard to hold himself and soon he drifted off to sleep. A sign that he really felt comfortable and secure. Later the sun woke Toma up. He opened his eyes sleepily and yawned, then looked around. He was in his bed, but he couldn't remember how he had got there...then he remembered the last thing before he had fallen asleep: soft lips on his, a comforting warmth... He looked around hastily, hoping to find Tomohisa somewhere, got out of bed and checked every room, but there was noone except him. Come to think of it, it was too good to be true, right? Never would Tomohisa do something like this... 'It must have been a dream.', he thought and sighed in frustration. So it was that far that he was already dreaming things like that of him? He really needed to stay as far away from Tomohisa as possible...even if it hurt him... he deserved it...after all he had killed another person... Toma frowned at the thought... had he really? He couldn't tell what was real and what was dream anymore.... He walked into his bathroom and splashed some water on his face, then he grabbed for the towel, but instead his hand felt something other. He opened his eyes in confusion and looked at the fabric, he recognized it as one of his shirts. He just wondered why it was there when he saw a large red taint on it... blood... Toma dropped the shirt and stared at it with wide eyes. He stepped backwards, first slowly, then hastily and then stumbled to the ground, still in shock. So it was true... he HAD killed the secretary... He held his head with his hands and shook it fast. It couldn't be... What was happening to him? How could he do something like this? And all at once he realized what he had done... 'I am a killer', he thought scared. 'A killer without recognizing it'. He was dangerous... he couldn't go outside the house anymore... no, that was not enough, he had to do something about it. Toma got to his feet shakily and walked into the kitchen. There was still the knife on the cupboard. He looked at it for a few seconds and then picked it up... he would end this, he couldn't live anymore. He couldn't take the guilt anymore... 2 lives... still so young... He closed his eyes and lifted his head to the ceiling, holding the knife already near his throat. 'I am sorry, Tomohisa....', he thought, a single tear running down his cheek. 'I wish I could've told you that I love you... but you wouldn't accept it, right? You would never love a murderer. I'm sorry...' With that thought he raised his arm and was ready to cut through his flesh when suddenly a hand drew his own away forcefully. “What the hell are you thinking what you're doing Toma?”, asked an angry voice, which sounded like Kazama's. Toma opened his eyes confused. “Kazama?”, he asked and looked at his 'friend'. Kazama took the knife out of his hand and placed it back on the cupboard behind his back. “Stop this shit Toma! Why do you want to kill yourself?”, he asked in rage, but as Toma looked into his eyes he also saw another thing... worry. “Kazama .. I-” “Shut the hell up, Toma! What are you thinking... god, killing yourself? Are you stupid? You can't mean it...”, he shouted. “Kazama, I killed two people!”, Toma cried. “I can't live like that... I... god....”, he said and looked at his hands... they were shaking. What had he become? A murderer, a suicide.... “So what?”, shouted Kazama again. “If you regret it, then atone for it properly, you jerk! Don't do things like that!” Toma could now see it... tears were in Kazama's eyes. Would Tomohisa also have cried if he'd found his corpse? Would he have understood? “I don't know... what to do anymore...”, Toma stated with tilted head. “Then... come with me... we can run away somewhere... to a place where no one knows us.” “No... I can't live like that... I have to confess that I am the one...”, spoke Toma and turned around. “Wait”, said Kazama and held him on the shoulder. “Where are you going?” “To Tomohisa... I have to tell him...” “I think it's no good to go to Yamashita... you know... I think it would hurt him too much... if he found out and also you... You'd rather go to Hasegawa. I know him since childhood... he will make sure that Yamashita won't hear about it... you don't want to disappoint him, right?” Toma seemed to think about it for awhile and then agreed. He wouldn't be able to stand Tomohisa's disappointed face... And so they headed off to the police headquarters. By the time they arrived it was already late in the evening and everything was dark outside. Toma didn't really care at all... he didn't care about anything anymore. He just wanted to get over with it and then go into jail for the rest of his life... Kazama led Toma to the office which seemed to be the one from Hasegawa. Kazama stepped in first and the two men had a short, fast conversation. Toma didn't bother to listen to them, and as they were finished Hasegawa stood up and approached Toma. “So, you did it, right? I knew it all along...”, he smirked. “Well, I'll make sure that you'll get a nice little cell in jail”, he said, still smiling. “Ok”, Toma just said monotone. Hasegawa smirked a bit more and got the handcuffs out of his pocket and went over to Toma. “Well then..”, he said and Toma raised his hands to get what he deserved. Just then the door opened... Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)