Chapter 10
Chapter 10
Soundtrack: Greenday – One 21 Guns
Toma couldn't do anything but smile as Tomohisa apologized for hugging him, and almost as if his body acted on it's own, he laid his arms around the others back and embraced him softly.
In this moment it felt like the only right thing to do. Even if he knew they were in the middle of a crime scene.
“Now we're even, right? So no need to worry about this any more.”, he said and still smiled. He enjoyed the emotions which were running through himself right now so much. Why did it feel so damn good to hold him?
Then he heard Tomo say the words. Yes, he thought for a second, why was life so complicated?
“What do you mean?”, he answered wondering what HE would mean.
But he didn't get an answer, instead he got asked if they could stay like this longer. Something in his stomach felt weird, when he heard his words. But weird in a nice kind...
“Sure”, he whispered, held him even closer and closed his eyes. He laid his head on Tomohisa's shoulder and smelled his scent. His heart pounded hard against his chest already and he was sure his face was as red as a tomato. But right now he didn't care. All he cared for was Tomohisa.
But suddenly the door opened and Toma opened his eyes in shock as the other cop came in.
He was sure that other man didn't like him at all, he had already disliked him at their first meeting...
After a short heated conservation between the two detectives Tomohisa asked Toma to come with them.
In the headquarters he got asked the same questions again, with the slight difference that that Hasegawa-guy was with them. And he didn't seem to be happy about the outcome of the situation because Toma had to be released again. There was not enough evidence to arrest him completely. So Tomohisa held his word and got him out of the bad situation.
After the interrogation ended, Tomohisa accompanied Toma to the entrance of the headquarters. Somehow the mood was quite awkward between them. Neither of them said a word until they reached the door.
“Well.. thanks”, said Toma, not quite knowing how to act . “It's nothing, I just did my job”, he answered and waved it away with a gesture of his hand.
Toma smiled at him awkwardly. “Well I guess I can forget work for today... I'll go home then... See you! Ah, and please let me know if you know something new, ok?”
Tomohisa nodded and Toma turned around to leave, when Tomo was suddenly next to him. “If you don't mind I would like to accompany you to your home. You know... just to be sure... since the murderer could be after you, too...”, he spoke. Toma was somehow happy that he had decided to go with him. “Okay”, he answered simply.
And so they walked next to each other, they didn't really speak, but Toma felt as if there didn't have to be words between them now. He himself just enjoyed Tomohisa's very presence and the fact that he seemed to be worried about him.
As they walked Toma began to think about the whole murder, something was wrong, terribly wrong. Why was the door locked? Who could've done it? Now that he was out of it, there were a hundred thoughts running in circles through his mind. And he always just found one answer: Kazama. But why should he do something like that?
Something was bothering him, but he couldn't grip it. It was like something slid past him like a shadow.
Toma didn't even notice when they arrived in front of his house. He just recognized it when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to see Tomohisa looked at him. “Oh sorry, I-”, began Toma. “Don't think too much. We will for sure catch the culprit, ok? So don't worry. And... if anything bothers you... you can always come to me, ok?”, he said. Toma smiled at him. Tomohisa was just too good, he was so kind and caring. Toma was sure that he could always rely on him if he had to. He was so thankful for him being there. He treasured their friendship so much.
As he looked into the cop's eyes he felt something else. He looked away hastily. “Well... thank you... really”, he stammered and looked to the ground. Then he risked another glance at Tomohisa's face. How much would he give to know what he was thinking right now.What he was thinking about him, to be precise. “Well, do you want to come in and have a cup of coffee or so?”, Toma offered. Tomo seemed to think for a second. “I'd... love to... but I have to get back. Another time, ok? I want to catch the murderer as soon as possible...”, he answered slowly. Toma was somewhat disappointed, more than he should be, as he noticed. “Ok... then see you. And be careful... ok?”, Toma tried not to sound so sad, but he failed badly. “Don't worry, I'm a cop after all, you should be careful! Well... I'll see you, I guess?”, he said. “Haha, yes, I will. Sure... I'll visit you next time...see you then..”, answered Toma. And with a last smile Tomohisa turned and walked down the street. Toma looked after him and felt something in his chest twitching as Tomohisa's back got smaller and smaller. He sighed, got into the house and unlocked his door.
He stepped into his apartment and hung his coat on the wardrobe. Since he hadn't eaten anything, he decided to cook a fast meal. During the preparations he thought about everything, especially Tomohisa. Every time he saw him, his heart began to race. When he smiled his heart skipped a beat. And as they had hugged ... he had felt like doing it until eternity... It was weird.. They were friends, weren't they? But somehow, there was another thing growing in his heart. And now that he thought about it calmly, he knew it was more than friendship. It was so much more...
Toma shook his head, he didn't want to think about him that way... it was ridiculous. He was a guy and Tomohisa as well. And if he continued thinking that way he would probably loose him if he noticed it. And Toma didn't want to lose him again...
“Damn”, he whispered to himself. He just couldn't stop thinking about him. And he knew he couldn't deny his feelings anymore... No matter how often he tried to tell himself that he just felt normal friendship for Tomohisa... he knew he lied to himself.
And this day made it painfully clear. Toma was so absorbed in his thoughts that he cut himself with the knife he was using for cutting the tomatoes. “Damn”, he said again and held his finger under water. Then he searched for a band-aid. He opened several drawers and finally found the right one in an already half open drawer. He was just about to pick one of the band-aids out when something caught his attention.
It was a little shiny key. Toma frowned. He took it out and then saw a little tag on it. It said: “Office”.
Toma was so surprised that he dropped the key to the ground. He looked at it in fear and suddenly he remembered: His colleague, who was on vacation right now had given him the key in case the office was still locked when he arrived, because usually his colleague was the first one there and therefore had a key...
“No”, he said breathless. “No...”, he said again and then another memory hit him. It was the one were he woke up at night due to a nightmare. He had stepped out of bed, because he was afraid of another dream and didn't want to fall asleep again. But he couldn't remember what he had done then...
As he tried to remember his head hurt, his knees gave in and he sank to the ground. “Argh~”, he shouted in pain and held his head. His gaze fell on the key again. And as fast as the pain came it faded again. Now there was just fear in his head...With his knees on the ground and his eyes wide open from the shock he looked at the key. “No way...”, he said again. “No...”, he repeated over and over.
But he couldn't deny the fact that he had damn lied to the cops, to Tomohisa. He had a key, and he was awake at night...and he couldn't remember... “NO!!!”, he shouted desperately.
