Chapter 19
Chapter 19
Soundtrack: Sascha feat. Maria Mena – Wide awake
A/N: This chap is written in kinda neutral view, so don't wonder ne
It was Kazama.
They saw how Jun's eyes grew wide. He let the gun drop and his knee gave in. “Why? Kazama...”, he asked with shaking voice.
Kazama also dropped to the ground, the blood hastily spreading under his shirt. “I-i didn't want you... to murder another person.... Jun...I... I ...love you... but you were so full with hate that you... didn't notice... I just... wanted to help you... but... you can't kill Toma... he is the only one who cared for me.... and I knew... you never would love me... because...”, he coughed. “Because... you love Yamashita...”
Yamashita pressed his hand on his mouth at that sentence, breathing in hardly and looking at Jun. They saw Jun crouching to Kazama, lifting him from the ground carefully and hugging him.
"That's... that's not true. Toma wasn't the only one who cared for you... and... I don't love Yamapi... not any more... because..." His voice broke off. Tears were flowing down his cheeks.
"Because... I love you... I just didn't realize it soon enough. You hear me? Don't leave me, okay?" He was shaking Kazama lightly.
Kazama was listening carefully, holding back from coughing as far as he was able to.
As Jun had finished talking Kazama lifted his hand slowly, touching Jun's cheek carefully.
"Don't... don't cry... It doesn't hurt... If just you... had said that earlier..."
"It wouldn't have changed anything, would it?"
"No... I guess not..." Kazama smiled.
Jun smiled as well, but then his expression turned serious again.
"I love you... don't leave me...", he whispered.
Yamashita grabbed Toma's hand and held it tightly.
"I love you, too...", Kazama responded, still smiling. "And I will always be by your side."
"Okay...", Jun said, tears still flowing down his cheeks. And so he went silent and bent down to kiss Kazama lovingly.
They stayed like this for a moment, both of them closing their eyes, until Kazama's hand slowly slipped off Jun's cheek and sank down to the ground, a single tear leaving his eye.
But Jun didn't open his eyes. He still clung to Kazama's lips, hugging him even tighter and rocking back and forth, shaking lightly.
As he broke their first and at the same time only kiss, he threw back his head and cried badly.
He then burried his head in Kazama's neck, whispering: "Come back, Shun... I love you... don't leave me..."
Meanwhile Toma was squeezing Yamashita's hand tighly, so Yamashita turned to face him and hugged him, whispering: "It's okay... Everything's going to be okay..."
But just as Toma wanted to say something, he saw Jun reaching out for the gun again, dragging it towards Kazama as if it were the heaviest thing in the world.
"Hasegawa...", Toma began, causing Yamashita to turn his head. He saw Jun taking the gun and leading it to his head.
"Jun! What are you doing?", Yamashita cried, stepping towards Hasegawa.
But as fast as Yamashita had turned around, Jun had pointed the gun on him, screaming: "Don't move!"
Yamashita instantly froze in his move and looked at Hasegawa in shock. "Jun... please... drop the gun... Everything's going to be okay ag-"
"Shut up! Nothing's ever going to be okay again! Maybe for you! You didn't shoot Toma, did you?", Hasegawa cried, his hand shaking terribly.
Yamashita looked at Toma shortly, then his gaze went back to Hasegawa again.
"No, I didn't, but..."
"See? You won't understand... nobody will... And how am I supposed to go on like that?"
"Jun... please..."
"No...", Hasegawa whispered, smiling. "I'm sorry, Pi... Take good care of Toma, will you?"
"Jun... don't... please..."
"Promise!", Hasegawa cried, his face turning serious again."
Yamashita hesitated for a moment, then said: "I... promise... Jun... I can't stop you, right?"
Tears were about to leave his eyes.
"No...", Hasegawa answered, smiling.
"Then... take good care of... him... okay?"
Hasegawa nodded with a loving smile on his face as he lifted his hand again, launching the gun into his temple.
"Good bye..."
Yamashita didn't hear the noise as Jun pulled the trigger. He saw his torso slowly sinking onto Kazama's dead body, a tiny line of blood running down Kazama's white shirt.
Yamashita turned around, not able to look at them anymore and found himself instantly hugged by Toma. He laid his arms around the older one and pulled him closer, both of them crying dearly.
"I'm sorry...", Toma said.
"No... don't be... please... don't...", Yamashita whispered, pulling Toma closer.
"They're okay... together... forever, right?", Toma asked, caressing Yamashita's back.
"Right...", Yamashita answered, pulling back a bit, and kissed Toma's lips.
Hours later they found themselves at the police headquarters once again. The place where the the whole misery had started. They sat in the office of Yamashita's chief, holding hands silently.
They had told his chief everything, it had taken them hours and hours, but after all it was clear now. The murders, the kidnapping, the suicide... everything.
Everything had felt like a long night that would never seem to end. But the nightmare was over now, even if the end had not been as liberating for Toma and Yamashita as it should have been. Both of them knew that there would always be a bad aftertaste, but neither of them wanted to forget it.
The chief stepped in and looked at them, massaging his nose bridge. “Ikuta-san, we've searched through your flat and indeed there were Kazama-san's fingerprints on the bloody shirt. So we took it to use it as evidence. It's over now, you can go now, we will write a report about this.
"Yamashita I think it's better for you to take some time off”, he said and patted Yamashita's shoulder.
Yamashita nodded and they stood up. But then Toma remembered something. “When is the funeral?”
“Tomorrow... You intend to go?”, asked the chief and raised a brow. “Yes, I... have a request. It's a bit weird but would you please... bury them together? I want them... to be together forever...”, asked Toma hesitantly and Yamashita squeezed his hand.
The chief looked at him in surprise but just said: “That can be arranged.”
Toma and Yamashita bowed and left the headquarters. In front of the building Toma stopped. Yamashita turned around and looked at him questioningly. “Can you come with me? I... don't want to be alone...”, Toma asked in a low voice. Yamashita smiled at him. He could be so cute...
“Sure. I don't want to be alone either.” Now Toma smiled, too.
“Thanks... I don't know... what I would do without you...”, answered Toma slightly embarrassed, but he knew that it was true and Yamashita knew it, too, because he felt the same.
As they arrived in the flat they went straight to bed, it was late already and they were tired, mentally and physically.
They laid close together, hugging each other and just enjoying being together. Finally. After some time they drifted off to sleep and finally found some peace.
The next morning Toma woke up, feeling fresh and better than any morning before. As he looked up, he found Yamashita still sleeping, his arms wrapped around Toma as if for dear life.
He smiled lovingly but still untangled himself out of Yamashita's grip and slid off the bed.
He crossed the room quietly, trying to make no loud noises, but failed as he knocked the paperbin over. He turned around hastily to check if Yamashita'd woken up, be he still slept, hugging a pillow as alternative of Toma.
The older smiled and turned around again to pick up the trash. In the process he found a piece of paper, crumpled but he could see some letters of a handwriting which was not his own. He unfolded the paper and looked at what was written on it.
It said: 'I want to be your boyfriend. O Yes, O No, O Maybe. (Set tag)'
Toma chuckled and looked at the sleeping man on his bed lovingly. Then he took one of his pens and made a cross into the 'yes' circle.
Then he stood up, folded the paper and put it into the pocket of Yamashita's coat.
He went to the bathroom and then back to the bed and watched the sleeping face of his new boyfriend.
Later when Yamashita was awake as well they dressed themselves and went to the graveyard where the funeral would be held. The ceremony was short and Yamashita and Toma were practically the only people there besides the priest.
But the chief had held his word, Kazama and Hasegawa got buried next to each other.
Both Toma and Yamashita lay a Vinca flower on their coffins, which stood for eternity and memory.
They would never forget them.
After the funeral they went different ways, because both felt like dealing with their own feelings and business for the meantime.
But they agreed to meet the next day, after all they couldn't live without each other for long.
On the way home Yamashita tried to warm his hand in his coat pockets but found some strange paper in one of them. He pulled it out and opened the neatly folded piece.
His eyes grew wide as he saw his very own silly letter and the cross in the place he hoped it would be.
Immediately he turned around and rushed to Toma's flat. He caught his breath before he stepped in and knocked on Toma's door.
When the door was opened, Yamashita rushed forward and kissed him without any kind of greeting. At first Toma was taken aback a bit but soon he didn't care why Yamashita was here and kissing him out of the blue like that.
After a long time they parted to catch their breaths. Toma smiled at Yamashita and the latter just showed him the letter he had found. Toma understood and kissed Yamashita again, closing the door behind them as they made their way into the living room, never letting go of each other.
“If you still know where you will go. You can count on me all the way.
Like a shadow I'll be with you.
Right beside you. And wide awake “
